dear chicago, i want to take this opportunity to apologize for saying you are a great city. how insensitive of me. do i think youre a better city when youre warmer than -13° without snow? defendant: guilty. almost better than when b leaves my apartment and i am able to turn my thermostat back up to 85°. almost. i swear, you have not lived or truly felt a cold apartment until you have stepped foot in brandons 65° apartment, when its 60° outside.
compared to new york city, y’all chicagoans are very nice. the information desk dude was kind enough to give us directions using the l to get to our hotel. he told us to get off at the state stop and walk 2 blocks over to our hotel. and even when i got trigger happy and told team besebs to get off at state and library, a very nice lady was kind enough to tell us that we have not only got off at the southern-most portion of the loop, but that we were also a few miles before we hit michigan and wacker – our hotel location. 
so glad i got to see and experience millennium park, the taste that is chicago and the navy pier, although the navy pier was hardly navy. and i wouldnt advise anyone to stay at the taste of chicago longer than an hour unless you want to relish in the crowd that is the taste of chicago. question: why is it when your people are walking and mooing like a herd of cattle at a public event, some are inclined to stop dead in their tracks and look around as if there was something other to look at than the same row of food stands that all look the damn same?
to your crappy karaoke singer at lizzie mcguires or mcgees or whatever: please stop drinking, and furthermore, please stop singing. youre not cute and your renditions of songs are not good. id rather have my ear drums rot and fall out than to hear you sing another version of whatever country song, excuse me, SONGS you sang. i swear you were there solely to piss me off, and guess what, you win. ten fold. 
however, the fact that b lived up to his end of the bargain of doing something that wed normally wouldnt do by getting up in front of the crowd to sing a david allen coe song only a southern (or as b would call texas, not southern) person would know makes me adore him t h i s m u c h m o r e. granted, steph and i didnt fulfill our end of the bargain by jumping on top of a water fountain and dropping like a fly in the middle of a very crowded airport and flailing around like a little 5 year old spoiled brat, but that doesnt matter. what matters is, i know there are some former southerners up north, so one thing your people can learn is: after the line, “and ill hang around as long as you will let me.” the crowd is supposed to scream, “let me! let me! let me!” 
one of the things we wanted to do, but werent able to, was attend a cubs game. wrigley field is one of the few fields that is trapped in time. theres a lot of history there, but this particular weekend only the sox were playing. why we didnt go to the sox game? we didnt go because, and i quote, “i dont feel like getting lost on my way to comiskey park in south chicago.” while wrigley field is located on the north side of chicago, “the good side”, comiskey park is located on the south side which is not to be confused with “the hood” where it is assumed that minorities named “leroy” live. (thanks alot, jim croce.) 
if i had money and lived in chicago, id definitely live in lincoln park. not because theres a stupid band out there with the same name, but because that entire area is so cute! colonial almost. stoop-fronted houses, bike lanes on the streets and more! they even have an area so proud of itself that if i were a lesbian, id be more than proud to be associated with it. 
of course we had to be typical tourists and visit all of your sites and attractions – sears tower, hancock observatory, field museum, adler planetarium, shedd aquarium. i will say that that i am pretty pissed off at the field museum for trying to charge me to see the natural disasters show. how dare you be so cruel to persuade me into buying a city pass to get cheaper admissions to all the tourist traps, only to find out that the field museums natural disaster exhibit is an extra charge. how rood! however, i will tell anyone in chicago in need of a nap to go to the planetarium. b was caught snoring in the middle of one of the shows. 
besides the fact that you suckered us into purchasing your city pass only to be asked for an additional fee for the natural disasters show at the field, your people must start training your chirrens to be nice at an early age! please meet, tosh. 
he is our new friend we met at the breakfast joint, yolk. hes nice just like the rest of you! i think we got him in trouble a few times as we heard his parents getting after him for not eating his food. whoops. sorry, tosh. 
yes, we had some of your pizza, hot dogs and bratwursts. im sad that i cant say the pizza was delicious, but only because i think it was the place we chose. dont get me wrong, giordanos was good, but im sure there are better joints. maybe next time!
like i said before, youre a great city. youre so nice! even your homeless friends are nice! when i fell leaving the rockit bar, (btw, boo to that bar. although our bartender was super nice!) a homeless dude made me feel better by saying that he falls all the time when he wears heels. so sweet!
i dont regret my second trip at all. we did everything there was to do except go to the lake, take the architecture tour and attend an oprah taping (b wouldve been so stoked).
thanks again for your hospitality,
ericka, brandon and stephanie
team besebs
ps. friends – yes, i fell. what kind of ericka trip would it be had i not fallen? dont answer that. 